Bittersweet
by LauraHannah90
Summary: "You know I'd do it. You know I'd do anything for a baby if I could. So I'm letting you have the same. I'm not gonna be selfish my entire life." After one of those frequent bursts of jealousy, Rosalie decides to give Emmett the opportunity she wants. O/S


_Many of you won't have heard from me in a little while, not since I've finished 'Broken Spirit'. It's not much to offer you but it's the most I can do at the moment :) I actually really enjoyed this idea and had some fun writing it down - it just took me a very long time (coursework, homework and a drama production has taken up a lot of my time!) _

_I hope you enjoy it. As always, your feedback is very much appreciated so please review :)_

_Just a warning; contains strong language._

* * *

Rosalie couldn't take her eyes off of her; that bronze hair, identical colour to that of Edward's, and those eyes that were the exact shade to what Bella's used to be.

It was so easy for Rosalie to say Renesmee was the miracle child. Her niece… her very own niece, was as close as Rosalie was ever going to get to a daughter. She had to admit, it was very bittersweet.

"Nanna!"

Rosalie looked up from her lap to see Renesmee jump forwards to wrap her arms and legs around Esme's torso. From the sofa, Rosalie watched as Renesmee rested her hand against Esme's cheek, pouring thoughts of love and joy into her grandmother.

Rosalie wanted that. She wanted to have a child, a grandchild to offer to Esme for love and care. She wanted her very own Renesmee, a little boy or girl that she could tuck into bed and read stories to without accusations of keeping her all for herself.

When Renesmee turned to look at me, she saw Edward's features dominate her face. A smile crept along Rosalie's face, full of encouragement and happiness. Only when Renesmee turned her attention back to Esme did Rosalie let her face fall.

How was it that Edward got everything?

The girl, the daughter, the family.

Not for the first time, Rosalie pushed her jealousy to one side. What good would it do to become the green eyed monster? So far, nothing.

"Look, Nanna, over here." Renesmee pulled Esme's arm, yanking her over to the little coffee table where she and Rosalie had been completing a 1000 piece jigsaw.

"That's pretty, sweetie."

"I did it all by myself. Rosalie just watched me, didn't you?"

Rosalie nodded, smiling at her niece.

"Why don't you ask Esme if she'd like to help you with the next one?"

Rosalie glanced at the pile Alice had picked up from one of the toy stores she'd visited last week. The pieces were getting smaller and Renesmee was very good at each and every one of them. Bella said, and Edward agreed, that Renesmee should do children things too, like jigsaws.

"Will you, Nanna? Will you help me, please?"

Esme nodded and Rosalie stood up. Blowing the two of them a kiss, she waved goodbye and walked out of the house.

Outside it was peaceful. Besides Renesmee's giggles echoing throughout, only small sounds could be heard, like an animal, deer it smelt like, in the distance, the wind in the trees, the car whizzing past on the road down the driveway.

Rosalie stood there for a moment, thinking - so many thoughts at once, so many things to think about.

If Edward could do it, why not everybody else?

If Bella could have a child, why not Rosalie?

It was these thoughts that tore Rosalie apart. They crept upon her sometimes, in the most unexpected of times. Sometimes, Rosalie unlocked that box in the back of her mind that held all of these mindless thoughts... but only when Edward was clearly out of hearing. She couldn't deal with him listening in.

"Rose?"

Rosalie turned around at the sound of Emmett's voice and looked up. He was sitting there, right on the roof, next to the chimney. He was holding a camera in his hand, calling down at his blonde lover.

"What are you doing up there?"

"Come on up!"

"_Why?_"

"It's kinda pretty. Do I have to drag your hot ass up here or what?"

Rosalie scowled at him but jumped up anyway, landing soundly on the roof. Emmett pulled her down onto him, snapping the camera in their faces with a flash and a click.

"Look." Emmett pointed into the mass of trees as Rosalie just frowned into the view. There was just a swarm of leaves surrounding them, a cloudy sky above them and a tiled roof below them.

"Why the _roof_?"

"It's private, don't you think?"

"We don't get privacy, Em."

"I doubt even Alice would think to look for us here."

Rosalie snorted loudly, shaking her head as Emmett pulled her a little closer to him. Taking the camera from him, Rosalie scanned through the pictures he'd already taken. To her surprise, the last few were of her from above, a blonde dot, with a round ass and her breasts making her figure more apparent.

"You managed to take this without me noticing?"

"You were in your own little world." Emmett pressed his lips to the back of Rosalie's head, inhaling the scent of the same shampoo she always used. It smelt of pineapple, strong and sweet. "What were you thinking about?"

"Just Nessie," Rosalie replied vaguely. It was easier to be vague, safer.

Emmett let out a sigh. "I wish I could change that for you, Rosie."

Rosalie chewed on her lip and nodded slowly. "I know you would, I know." She felt his hand creep up to touch the base of her neck, gently fingering that sensitive spot she had. "I know you want one, too."

Rosalie felt that urge again, the twisting ache in her stomach, a guilt, a regret? She didn't quite know what it meant, what it was signalling her to do. She knew she was being selfish, holding onto the happiness she could release onto the person who'd brought her so much.

But he would do it for her. Rosalie knew, without a doubt, that Emmett would, because he loved her so much. Could she watch him walk away from her? Could she survive the pain?

Maybe… somehow… it would work out for her, too. If she proposed her plan, maybe Emmett would return to her… with one more?

"Rosie, baby?"

"Hmm?"

"Whatcha thinkin' about?"

Rosalie stopped herself from answering for just a moment, made herself think about the impact of what she was about to say. But her words just couldn't hold themselves in anymore. She was used to this, speaking before thinking. Only this time, she'd thought a lot.

"What if you had a baby?"

Rosalie twisted her head to see Emmett's reaction and was shocked to find him holding in a laugh.

"Babe, I don't have a womb!" He let out a bark of a laugh.

"I didn't mean that," Rosalie snapped, withdrawing her arm away from him, just slightly. "I really mean it, Em. If Edward can get a human pregnant, then so can you."

She felt Emmett stiffen at the sincerity of her words.

"What?" There was a silence between them, awkward, different. This was new territory. "Rosie, for god's sake, look at me!"

Rosalie turned to face him, almost closing her eyes at the face in front of her.

"You said you'd do it for me. Well, I'll do it for you."

"You're okay with me fucking some human girl while you're waiting at home? What then, Rosalie?"

"You could get the baby… Think of it, your very own baby."

"And the human girl? What happens to her, then?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Rose, are you off your trolley? I can't just do that. She'd die."

Rosalie just started at Emmett's shocked face, words falling into her lap. This wasn't going the way she'd assumed it was. In some ways, she was pleased; Emmett was putting up a fight.

"And you're okay with that are you?" Emmett asked. He was surprised to see that Rosalie hadn't shown more concern to the girl she wanted him to screw.

"If you wanted the baby… without me… then – then you could. I'd let you go."

Emmett's face dropped. Was she serious?

Emmett knew, more than anybody, how desperate his Rosie was. It was something that bugged him, haunted him, at times, because he couldn't give her what he wanted. When Renesmee was born, it was like a slap in the face for her.

"Why?" he asked weakly. His voice was giving him away to the emotion of the situation; only Rosalie ever saw that, his emotions, his real feelings.

"Why?" she repeated back to him. "Because I love you? Because I want you to have things?"

"You want it too…"

Rosalie shook her head. There was an emotional tightness in her throat, a pain at saying the words. In some respects, it was worse than a thirst.

"I don't want that without you, Rosie."

"For fuck's sake, Emmett. You know I'd do it. You know I'd do anything for a baby if I could. So I'm letting you have the same. I'm not gonna be a selfish bitch my entire life."

Standing up, Rosalie tried to shake off Emmett's hand. He didn't let go though, much stronger than her. Emmett held on as Rosalie tried to pull away, but they only ended up on the ground together, landing loudly and making the windows of the house shake.

Looking inside, Rosalie noticed that Esme and Renesmee had disappeared somewhere. She couldn't hear them either; she and Emmett were alone.

"There are different kinds of feelings, Rosalie," Emmett said. Rosalie turned away from him, scared of the speech that'd come. "Will you fucking look at me?"

Spinning round with a surge of anger, Rosalie twisted on the spot until she came to look Emmett in the face. He looked fuming.

"I get that you'd do that. If you had the chance, you would. I understand. I can deal with that. But I can't."

"Why not?"

"Fucking some other girl? Sure, I'd laugh about it with Jazz but I'd never actually want to do it. You're perfect, Rosie. Why would I wanna screw someone else? Let alone the idea of what'd happen to her afterwards."

"It's not just about sex. It's about the product. I've seen you with Nessie; you'd be a fantastic dad…"

"I wouldn't, Rosie. Not if you weren't the mother. I'm happy with my niece."

He pulled her forwards, roughly, holding her tightly in the dense strong muscles of his arms. She couldn't escape from his grip, even if she wanted to. It was safe in Emmett's arms. It always had been, from that very first moment.

"I fucking love you, Rosie."

Rosalie didn't know whether to be sad or happy; there wasn't a chance of a baby. Carlisle wouldn't have let it happen, anyway. But Emmett's love for her was so strong, that confirmation. It was stronger than hers would have been. In all honesty, she _would _accept any possibility of a child of her own. It was the brutal truth, so she expected Emmett to have jumped at the chance too.

She was beyond words. Instead, she wrapped her arms around Emmett's neck, holding on as tightly as she could. He didn't fight the force, knowing she needed this support to hold her up. It was times like these, times of weakness, where Rosalie crumbled under the jealously and desperation.

That fight was lost, that strong exterior. It seemed to crumble, replaced with the empty shell, no words left to say.

It was times like these where she leaned on Emmett and he loved it, being this person who could hold her close to him. He didn't need children. To him, and he knew things were different for Rosalie, but to him, Rosalie was what he needed, not a child.


End file.
